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Barry Nicholas
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Cassandra | Darrel | Henrietta | Michelle | Vanessa | Qian Ru | |
Friday, April 13, 2007, 8:54 PM
sorry guys, i'm freaking emo today. maybe cause i didn't get any sleep last night. but either way i feel the way i feel right now. & dragging you all down with all my nonsense again seems to be the only way to relieve some of that sadness i have. i'm either going to cry again, or start punching the walls of my room once more. sad case right? smoking no longer helps hurh. the effects dun even reach near my brain anymore. and once more i i have to type a super long post, trying to squeeze in all my fears and emotions. well then, lets begin shall we?1 thing i'd want to know. am i really that horrible a guy? take 1 look at miie, turn away and forget bout it kind? looks aside, am i really such a bad person? Mylove, i treat you as good as i can, i try to be there for you whenever your days don't seem very happy. i know you realise how well i treat you too. and no matter how little it is i'm happy that you appreciate it. A little thanks goes a long way for me. =) and each time you're in need of a friend. i always embraced you like my little sister. i'd take care of everything u need, want and wish for. or at least i try to? you know very well yourself, that i'd do anything just to see you smile. i'd hate anyone who makes u sad, anyone who makes use of u, anyone who doesn't treat you nice. To me you're not the normal kind of girl we guys take for flings. i'm sure you've been through it before. & you know how it goes too yea? a few months of fun and its over. forget about it and carry on with life. most of us live our current lives this way don't we? but hey, listen girl. Thats not what i see in you. with you, i wanna spend my future life like this. i don't own a car, nor a house? i can't even afford to get you a new phone. but with whatever i have, i never hesitate to help bring something to your day to make you smile. i don't know you for a few weeks, not a few months. we've been through alot in 2 years. i know you're tired. hey, its taken a toll on miie too yea? but still, even after all this time. why are you the one i think about before i fall asleep, whenever i walk pass those familier places. mistakes are mistakes. i'll admit that. & yes, shoot me in the head for them. even dieing by your hand seems to be so fruitful. i'm a very very dumb boy. chances like those don't come vey often. yea? i waited 2 years for it, but instead of grabbing it i mocked it. The last dance is ending, isn't it? you feel it too don't you. i loved and lost you too many times before. & right now it seems i have to let go once again doesn't it. Its times like this, that i need my own hero. Not someone who can cast all my fears away. but someone who can turn my fear into cheer. Your a big part of my life, i hope u realise that. & i do wish i can keep you by my side forever. but you still want your fun yea? i'll be close by, don't worry. You don't need me, One day you'll find out. That a hero lies right in you. |