--

So yeahs, been busy this few days. I guess. Can't rmb what i've been really doing la actually, mostly shopping and more shopping. Bugis, taka, bugis again. Managed to finish new year shopping 1 week early. Which is good also because ill be damn busy this week. Been living the life, which in direct translation means " kanina spend alot money liao sia now pok alrdy" and im left not much in my bank account.

Woke up at 6am today, asthma acted up. Slack at home, watch anime. Slack somemore, went down to meet guo ping, chit chat, waited for celestine outside school, SLACK again, then teoheng for karaoke ! Cabbed home straight, didn't want to slack anymore cause i want to reduce slacking from 4 words to 3 so and so forth. LOL

School tmr, meeting yaofong to go woodlands for i dont know what the fuck. Meeting wenhui there, i suppose? Panda pua stunt with me again today. Quite an enjoyable day, i guess ?

So yea, i thought i'd give it a shot. Seeing whether things would be as normal as i expect it would. Good news! it is. Bad news! its too normal. I know, i'm picky. Over-sensitive, emotional? for a guy that's suppose to maintain a certain calibur which precedes/meets the expectations and opinions of people. I'm supposed to turn 19 this year, i guess 12 days into the new year isn't enough time to pull my socks up. Well the worst is yet to come, its as they say. Maybe im just a tool, a stepping stone, a substitute, another pit stop. A day that was supposed to make me feel like im on cloud 9 is instead making me feel like im in hell. I wanna try, to make this the last post about you. I promised to stay happy the rest of my days. No doubt, i am spending 12hours smiling, but undoubtly im also spending the other 12hrs sulking over you. I can't understand why you affect me this much, why every little thing you do makes me feel so happy and vice versa me sad the very same way. I don't understand, why am i suffering so much. i KNOW, its not as bad as i say it to be. In fact some people might consider me to be contradicting my words. I know it all too well, i've tried ending it. Then i turn 1 whole round and place myself back on square 1, pathetic eh ?

So now, after going back 1 whole round to where i first met you.
Nothing's changed, after 1 exact whole month of spending time with you.
I can't explain how much i love you, how much i think of you, how i much i care for you.
Its killing me softly, day by day it gets worse, decoding all the actions, affection and acronyms.
I keep going back to square 1, the 1 same place, 1 whole month later, i can only decipher that i love you.

I'm happy and sad.
Contented and greedy.
Loving life then again hating it.
So full of it yet again so sick of it.

Contradicting.