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Stared at this page, for a long time. Thinking about my day, the things i did, the people i hang out with. Than it stopped there, rummaging through the names. It stopped on yours. Than i thought of your face, you voice. What came after that, was only me rethink everything again. But other than that, i have nothing else i wish to post up here. Yes i could explain in detail how my day went, but whats the point if everything goes back to the starting.

Just standing there, not hearing or bothering about what i heard. I didn't realise i had alrdy picked my side, who i should speak up for. I didn't bother about the reasons, to me what only mattered was how'd you feel. But at that moment, i too felt so helpless. No matter how strong i'll be, how much respect i get, how knowledgable i am, how well i can talk back to people. None of it would matter if i'm not fitting to or have the RIGHT to do so. So i just stood there, pondering, hiding the rage.

Consiously im ignoring the facts, overlooking everything and avoiding eyes. But right there, somewhere somehow, within the broken pieces of my heart. I'm looking out for you. I try so hard not to, playing this game with life and logical explanations to justify my feelings. You don't read any of this, and maybe i feel a lil safe that none of this will reach your ears.

i wish i was stronger, wish i was more patient, wish i was so much more than what i am to you. People are turning their backs to you, i watch it happen everyday. But i know im not the cure to it, and even if i am thats all im gonna be. Heartbreaking as it is, i have to let go.

So yeah, like you said. Time will work its magic. Till then, i wanna remember this pain. For as long as it can, how sharp it may get, let it kill me inside. Maybe 1 day, when im dead and through, i'll get back up again.

People weave in and out of our lives,
You see them lose their importance over time,
I can see it wavering now, leaving nothing but trails,
But this heartbreak, its not finished and over with so soon,
So once more, break my heart again. Harder, with more decisiveness.
Kill me 1 last time, and make sure i don't get up this time.