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" Time goes by, never stopping for anyone, not hesitating for a second to see who's left behind. Thats the cruelty of it, and the ironic beauty of it. "

-Barry Nicholas ong

I'm not one to say, that experiences in life are nothing new to me. But let me relive this old-tale once more. Not too long ago, when everything in my life was just about to change, i used to think i had this special someone. The kind of feeling that it'd last forever ? Where we have this floating feeling of everything's going to be alright.

Scary how familiar it is to you people? I've watched it pass, not only in my own relationship, but in friend's that confide about it to me. Of how so similar the symptoms are, the causes, the consequences. " Once bitten, twice shy " Maybe.. thats the cause of why i'm feeling like this at certain times.

Undoubtly, while you're by my side, the world doesn't matter. But we've all outgrown the stage of being ignorant to whats happening, we forsee, we plan, we prevent, we avoid, all for the sake of a better future, to prevent an undesirable outcome from occuring. Than what happens when something you know you cannot avoid comes knocking on your door bringing along with it uncertainty ?

When there's nothing i can do but to embrace it with my arms wide open. Maybe i should go into detail a little bit more, of what i'm so afraid of.

What if one day i get used to not contacting you during your school hours, and i extend it to beyond that and it becomes a 1 call per day thing. Maybe worse?

When 1 day you become so busy i get used to meeting you only once a week, and i gradually lose the feeling to see you and we don't see each other for a month?

What will happen if 1 day i even lose the importance of our anniversary? Cooking up excuses to not miss an outing with the people i hang out with in your absence ?

This are all truths, i've done them.
Posting this up here, made me half realise. That its areas i need work on myself. But i'm only human, and things like this present oppertunities for dissapointments to happen. Of putting down expectations, and accepting the food infront of you. This isn't how a relationship should be.

Neither how it should end up.
I'm afraid, with this in my head.
So tell me, how do i enjoy the moment now.

Nevertheless, i love you. Like you said, we'd work something out.
Somehow.