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I never thought i'd need to come back to this page for something like this ;
Well at least for an extended period of time. Its been quite awhile, i'd give myself that. But in the end its still the fact that i have to come back here to let it out. Who knows who's gonna read this and when. Even i dont keep track of who has access to my blog anymore, cause to me its become nothing but a place for sad happenings. For recounts of things that you want to leave a memento on to look back at after some time.

True. I know i have my faults. I know that it'd take a character much stronger than mine to make me realise it. Or something with a big enough impact to. If this is how you want the cookie to crumble i can do the exact same thing.

Who's tired of what ? You've changed and tried and given yourself credit that you never thought you had in you. Read that again, and again. Run it through your head.

Let me spell it out for you what it means.
" You don't have what it takes to do this."

At least that of which you don't know about yet. Which in turn means your letting all of this happen without control, loving ME without knowing whether or not you can do it or not. Putting everything we HAVE up to CHANCE.

Let me re-count. YOU said that you're trying so hard.... to do what ?? Leaving things to chance requires that much effort ? Well than for my part i know i've put in my share of "boyfriend" . And yes it comes with the problems of time, friends, money, school, emotions, feelings. AND yet again, i go through it all for you.

BECAUSE I KNOW I HAVE WHAT IT TAKES IN ME TO LOVE YOU.
TO LOVE YOU

And here you're telling me. That you've loved me this much that you've never imagined possible for yourself. What justice.. No, not justice.. So this is all i deserve ? That the fact that " you've loved me beyond what you thought you could've have " is supposed to make everything alright. For everyone that knows to sympathise with you for being in a relationship with me ? Is that it !?

Why is it that i have no problems with the things that you have problems with. Realise it now please. Its not that i MUST have the last say. I have the LAST say because I'VE PUT EVERYTHING I HAVE INTO MAKING THIS RELATIONSHIP WORK. THAT GENUINE EFFORT IS THERE, THAT I KNOW I HAVE IT IN ME TO MAKE THIS WORK ; that gives ME the last say.

Because something that you have outside of yourself is never in your control. Because something that you " thought you never could do " would not be clear enough to you to understand its nature. Of how it comes about, of why it happens.

Let me tell you something. I understand, not KNOW. Of love, much much more than you. From just the simple statement, in reply to your own statement.

I know. I have it in me.
To love you.

" Marriage is never based on feelings, because feelings change with time even if in mini-portions. But a marriage is based on a decision, because a decision cannot change with time. "

It seems you've decided you've done.
Enough already ; it seems.

This post. Is my last say.
" When a heart breaks no it don't break even. "